I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize