i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
