she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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