I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize