12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
