you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize