i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
