I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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