Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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