So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
