yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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