After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Randomize
