What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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