She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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