He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
