you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My pussy is not your playground.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
