i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
