Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
