Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize