And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
