have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
