At least make sure they are 18
Why
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Randomize
