she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
