New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
