He uses pillows to masturbate.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
