If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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