I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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