He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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