It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
