I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
