if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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