it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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