I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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