i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My life is pants optional.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
