I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
