Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
