I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
