I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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