I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dear god my vagina.
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