Just cropdusted the office
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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