Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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