You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
