If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
