apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
