She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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