apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
