It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
and she was petting her beer can
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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