Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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