How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
