I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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