just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize