New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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