So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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