Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
