Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My vagina just recognized that song.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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