Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she woke up with a sticky ear
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
