so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
