i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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