Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize