So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
