Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
