there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
