I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
