just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
