Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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