I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
