so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
