I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
