do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
