ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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