I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
the liver wants what the liver wants
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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